Holding the Now

The journey to be still continues.

Yeah, you're right... that didn't sound quite... right. Darn brain noise again.

Also, the lawnmower is the single most evil invention in the history of ever. Especially on nice relaxing summer days. How can I be in the Now, with that neighbour mowing his lawn 4 feet away Right NOW!!

See, this is why it's a journey, and not a sprint. This struggle to be in the Now. To be Present.

When so much buzzes in my head - No, Look At Me!!!

How to fully soak up this time, because I do know it passes so quick. It can be so hard when there are very little quiet and still moments to centre yourself.

(3 children, my husband and his running partner just ran through my previous quiet office kitchen to grab various items: bananas, glasses of water, or to bring me weeds flowers.)

I am Learning to make the most of the moments that pass so quick, but some days, it does pass me by.   I feel often that I can never quite catch my breath.  It's a quick gulp at the surface.  And right back under.

Floating, suspended, watching from above; but not really participating.

I need to get better at taking the deep breathes when I can.  Stop treading water so much.   To not just simply enjoy the view while floating.     But dip down every now and then and sample this nectar of life.   

Yet,  I need an anchor too.

That's the hard part:  what do I anchor myself too, when the world is full of so many things competing for my attachment? Some real; some not so much. Some would look like an anchor, but actually just be a Weight pulling me under.

Dear Self:   You can only lose what you cling to.   ~  Buddha

The moments I am creating are definitely deep breathes for me.  I have finally become good at telling people I need them.  That it's not their job to understand why.  I'm not their problem to solve. 

It really doesn't matter if it looks like a pointless pursuit to you. The mindless distractions are okay too.   I tell you what:  I won't get so worried about any persons distraction that I find distasteful to me.  I can scroll past. I don't have to participate.  And you don't get upset about mine.  Deal?

I pull the weeds in my own garden;  and you are responsible for your weeds. 

The secret for all of us is learning what are the things that help us blossom..... and what are the things that would choke and wither the bloom.